Can Men and Women Really Be JUST Friends?

Here I am...sitting in an empty classroom waiting for class to start. But as I'm drinking my Arizona Green Tea and eating raw almonds from the snack shack, I can't help but contemplate an issue that was discussed in my Sociology class earlier today- "Can men and women be just friends?" Its an interesting and often debated topic. The article that was being presented pointed out some key standpoints on the issue, one being that there must be no attraction towards the other member of the friendship. Okay, well that's a 50/50 chance. Classmates differed in thoughts, and as I sat there and listened, I came to a conclusion. It all depends on the level of friendship. I, and probably most of you, have numerous friends of the opposite gender. Mostly acquaintances, a couple that I actually talk to. But to get the actual answer to the question of friendship between different sexes, I look at it as a deep friendship. A best friend even, someone who knows you in and out. Someone you wouldn't hesitate to open up to. Now, with that kind of relationship, let's explore the subject. The article stated that men and women benefit from having a friendship with the opposite sex. Women can be more open and joke more often when conversing with a male because they are less sensitive than their female counterparts. Men are able to talk more freely about their emotions, which was said to be less evident in an all male friendship. The problem that arises is sexual tension- which then leads to jealousy. Call me ancient or old fashioned, but i feel- given these circumstances- a woman and man cannot be just friends. An intimate, emotional, all-out strictly platonic friendship between different sexes just doesn't seem realistic. My reasoning for this is because it is difficult, and sometimes impossible to not have, or gain with time, feelings of attraction one way or another towards the other person. Keep in mind, even if one of the two feels this attraction, the theory of women and men being friends is demolished. The article stated that women go into a friendship with males first off to contain security and comfort, while a man's initial ideal from a friendship with a woman is sex. With that in mind, how can someone truly say such a friendship is able to happen? The attraction will be there. Even if there is no physical attraction, there could be emotional attraction. Opening yourself up to someone brings a type of intimacy to a friendship that even some romantic relationships are not able to obtain. Ever heard of falling for your best friend? Now, why is that? Because they understand you? Because they know everything there is about you and still accepts you regardless of your flaws? These are a few factors that could lead a two-sex friendship from one of guidance to one of romance. And even if you yourself see the relationship as just a friendship, the public might see it differently. And that, believe it or not, could change your own perspective on the relationship to a point where you might be convincing yourself that, "Yes, there is a connection…maybe this CAN go further." So you attempt to take this friendship to the next level. Now say you get shut down because the other person is not willing. Can the friendship ever remain the same? Can one be certain that jealousy will not arise if a romantic figure steps into the other person's life? Sex, love, and jealousy- three commonly used words that can stir up a lot of havoc, even to those reading this and disagreeing with my argument because "this isn't geared towards them"...whose to say you're exempt from experiencing this? You may choose to create a substantial friendship with the opposite sex without a thought of sexual or romantic desires, but the other person could feel differently. So with this in mind, this "absolutely no attraction yet intimate and emotional friendship in which sex and romance is obviously not an option with the opposite gender", you tell me: Can men and women really be JUST friends?

Be That Person

So, I'm sitting here in Coffee Bean..i know..shame on me. Jordan's at his shift lead meeting and i did some math homework but now my brain's hurting so i'm taking a break. I work on halloween and i was gonna wear jordan's coffee bean outfit but i can't. that would've been funny. oh well. so i'm drinking their hot chocolate. Gotta admit...not bad. Doesn't beat my zebra hot chocolate though. Anyways, let's discuss something- what should the topic be today? Let's talk about friendships. i know.."God Bruna you always talk about this shit.." Get over it! then don't read this..mmmhhmm..still reading. Apology accepted. Anyway, some of you may know my personal issues with friendships-most of you don't. Without picking on particular people let's look at the topic in a general matter. Friends. You either ahve a lot or a little. And i mean actual friends not just acquaintances. Most of you have a few close friends. How close are you? Do you know they care and respect you just as you do them? Would you bet your life that they are as loyal to you as you to them? I could've. Thank god i didn't tho. I would've been hit and run over multiple times. Regardless, with every failed relationship, including friendship, you leave with something in mind that will benefit you in the long run and mature your way of thinking. At times you could be blinded. Too much going on to appreciate the positive consequences..of course this is assuming the friendship ended badly- you know, the whole "well fuck that bitch, she's a slut anyway." Funny when people say that about someone they "loved". Is it anger? Or is it a repressed label they've embarked on you long before you were even aware? Whatever their reasoning may be, it is always amusing to see the side of a "friend" you were often blinded to. I mean anyone can see that people change according to their mood. We're all like mood rings. Given the atmosphere and attitude, any confrontation can change us from the calm blue to the enraged green. Alright- i don't know the exact color for every emotion, but you catch my drift. My point is how do you know that you KNOW your close friends? is it amount of time you were acquainted? or is it experiencing drastic mood changes? And i don't mean P.M.S-don't-talk-to-me-cuz-im-crabby mood. i mean full on i-dont-like-you-right-now-our-friendship-is-on-the-line mood. Maybe sometimes you should piss off your friends to see how they'd react. That's horrible. I take it back. I guess theres really no safe way. i thought i knew ceratain people, but when circumstances arise, its like a 180 degree turn and they become people i would never want impacting my life. yes its a sad and unfortunate event at most occurances, but overall, you're doing yourself a favor. just like everything else in life, there comes a time to do some cleaning. Cut the negative out of your life. Embrace the positive. I could be standing alone on this whole theory and experience-yet i highly doubt it. so for those of you who relate- congratulations on taking a step foward for yourself. and for those of you who don't..my condolences. haha jus kidding. if you've found yourself loyal friends- stick to it. they're still out there. And all they want is a loyal friend back. So be that person. Through the good and the bad- be that person. Even when shit hits the fan and your friendship has crumbled to mere memories- don't regret being that person because the self gratification of knowing your potential and capabilities to a successful relationship is much more satisfying. Don't ever let the fallen relationships hinder your credit for being that person- there's always someone else in need of someone like you. So with that.. go on to your daily lives and be that person.

once again this is jibberish. me writing away. without a thought as to grammar, puncutation, clarity or what not- so i apologize for all of that. and if i had time- i would go on and in more detail about this subject. but for now..this is what i have. hope you enjoyed it.